Bloody Haynes manuals

Discussion in 'General Motoring' started by Lynyrd Skinhead, Dec 18, 2003.

  1. Evening all,

    Some kind soul broke the aerial off of my 940 wagon. According to the Haynes
    it's a simple matter of removing the trim panel, undoing the retaining nut
    and dropping it into the car - yeah right!

    Having stood in the pi**ing rain and followed the manual, would the sodding
    thing budge?..........

    Anybody got any tips?

    Ta in advance,

    Skin
     
    Lynyrd Skinhead, Dec 18, 2003
    #1
  2. Lynyrd Skinhead

    Bonnet Lock Guest

    In an earlier contribution to this discussion,

    Apologies if you've seen it before - but you might be interested in what the
    Haynes Manual *really* means - as found at
    http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/real-haynes.htm
     
    Bonnet Lock, Dec 18, 2003
    #2
  3. Lynyrd Skinhead

    Myron Samila Guest

    hehe, I've actually found the Haynes manuals to be a good reference. Note I say
    reference.

    I have also noticed errors in the Haynes manuals, but hey, you could go and spend a LOT
    more money on the original factory manual.

    Is there not a bottom support for your antenna?
     
    Myron Samila, Dec 18, 2003
    #3
  4. Lynyrd Skinhead

    Ron /Champ 6 Guest

    LOL! Gawd, I needed a good laugh, and that's it!

    Tanks, Bonnet, I gotta go get a bigger hammer now!




    Ron/Champ 6

    1963 8E5 Champ (Champ 6)
    1962 Lark Daytona Convertible (Boomerang)
    1992 VW Passat (Taxi)
    1995 VW Passat (Vanilla..yuk)
     
    Ron /Champ 6, Dec 18, 2003
    #4
  5. Lynyrd Skinhead

    Stuart Gray Guest

    ROFLMAO - so true. I followed the Haynes way to change the bulb behind my
    heater controls using the "new" book for 740's (the light blue one made out
    of bog paper) It had me removing virtually the whole centre console before I
    twigged all I had to do was pull the 3 rotating switches off and pull the
    plate off. Bulb right underneath plate. Bastards !!!!! By the time I
    discovered that, I had the whole centre console in the passenger seat.

    Stuart.
     
    Stuart Gray, Dec 18, 2003
    #5
  6. Lynyrd Skinhead

    Mike F Guest

    Is this a power antenna? Often there's lots of corrosion at the mount
    which makes any work back there a real pain.

    --
    Mike F.
    Thornhill (near Toronto), Ont.

    NOTE: new address!!
    Replace tt with t (twice!) and remove parentheses to email me directly.
    (But I check the newsgroup more often than this email address.)
     
    Mike F, Dec 19, 2003
    #6
  7. Lynyrd Skinhead

    Mike F Guest

    My favourite is, "Refitting is in the reverse order of removal, except
    you curse in different places."

    --
    Mike F.
    Thornhill (near Toronto), Ont.

    NOTE: new address!!
    Replace tt with t (twice!) and remove parentheses to email me directly.
    (But I check the newsgroup more often than this email address.)
     
    Mike F, Dec 19, 2003
    #7
  8. Lynyrd Skinhead

    Spiggy Topes Guest

    I seem to recall there was a plastic clip of some sort and a screw
    into the frame, that secured the cable and the tube for the gear strip
    thingy. If you don't unclip that/those, then you're pushing down
    against them and they won't want to go. Once they're freed, it should
    come out with [relative] ease...
     
    Spiggy Topes, Dec 19, 2003
    #8
  9. Lynyrd Skinhead

    Remi la Blu Guest

    A scorn frenchman no doubt. You should try to piss off your gay lovers more.


    LOL, good to know.

    Yeah, get a life and a real car.
     
    Remi la Blu, Jan 6, 2004
    #9
  10. Lynyrd Skinhead

    wah Guest

    A young couple were making passionate love in the guy's van (you know, shag
    carpets, big double mattress in the back....all that) when suddenly the
    girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out, "Oh big boy, whip me, whip
    me!"
    The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not
    have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window,
    snaps the aerial off his van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both
    collapse in sadomasochistic ecstasy.

    About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping
    session are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor
    takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"
    The girl is a little embarrassed but admits that, yes, she did.

    Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in
    all my years of doctoring...

    You've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen.



    KMA, Remi.
     
    wah, Jan 6, 2004
    #10
  11. Lynyrd Skinhead

    Peter Milnes Guest

    That's because Haynes are referring to the aerial fitted to a sedan. The
    electric aerial fitted to a wagon has to have the motor bracket undone first, so
    that the whole aerial can be wriggled out much easier.

    Cheers, Peter.

    :
    : : : > > I seem to recall there was a plastic clip of some sort and a screw
    : > > into the frame, that secured the cable and the tube for the gear strip
    : > > thingy. If you don't unclip that/those, then you're pushing down
    : > > against them and they won't want to go. Once they're freed, it should
    : > > come out with [relative] ease...
    : > >
    : > > On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 19:04:29 -0000, "Lynyrd Skinhead"
    : > >
    : > > >Evening all,
    : > > >
    : > > >Some kind soul broke the aerial off of my 940 wagon. According to the
    : Haynes
    : > > >it's a simple matter of removing the trim panel, undoing the retaining
    : nut
    : > > >and dropping it into the car - yeah right!
    : >
    : > A scorn frenchman no doubt. You should try to piss off your gay lovers
    : more.
    : >
    : >
    : > > >
    : > > >Having stood in the pi**ing rain and followed the manual, would the
    : sodding
    : > > >thing budge?..........
    : >
    : > LOL, good to know.
    : >
    : > > >
    : > > >Anybody got any tips?
    : >
    : > Yeah, get a life and a real car.
    : >
    : > > >
    : > > >Ta in advance,
    : > > >
    : > > >Skinny boi
    :
    : A young couple were making passionate love in the guy's van (you know, shag
    : carpets, big double mattress in the back....all that) when suddenly the
    : girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out, "Oh big boy, whip me, whip
    : me!"
    : The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not
    : have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window,
    : snaps the aerial off his van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both
    : collapse in sadomasochistic ecstasy.
    :
    : About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping
    : session are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor
    : takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"
    : The girl is a little embarrassed but admits that, yes, she did.
    :
    : Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in
    : all my years of doctoring...
    :
    : You've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen.
    :
    :
    :
    : KMA, Remi.
    :
    :
     
    Peter Milnes, Jan 6, 2004
    #11
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